It’s not you, It’s me

Who can discern his errors? Clear thou me from hidden faults. ~ Psalm 19:12

I thought it was a conspiracy against me. This scenario has played out the same for about two weeks… I arrive at work, park car in garage and head to elevator.

Me: Good Morning

Person at elevator : ______(looks up, sees me walking, says nothing)

Elevator arrives we get on and someone is already on the elevator

New person: Good morning

And the person who would not speak to me says good morning to them.

Are you serious? So you can speak to other people at the elevator and not me.  This seemed to been happening daily. Honestly, it felt like people just didn’t want to speak to me. Because it was happening over and over, I switched up the routine. If I saw someone by the elevator, I would slow down my pace, let them get on. This way I could ride by myself.

This morning I arrived right behind the gentleman who sits across from me. I felt safe with him being there so I didn’t slow down.

Me: Good Morning Anthony (alter-ego name)

Anthony: __________ (looks up, sees me walking, says nothing)

Me: Anthony, are you going to act like everyone else and not say good morning back to me?

Anthony: Oh you said something, I didn’t hear you

Me: You couldn’t hear me?

Anthony: Not from where you were standing.

Me: Ohhhh.

So I guess all of those mornings when I spoke, and I was getting irritated, upset, thinking there was a conspiracy, and  that no one in the building wanted to talk to me, was not the way I perceived it. The people never heard me. And instead of simply speaking again, I chose to grumble and mumble on the ride up. I can only imagine how I have looked to the people at the elevator. The one who blogs every morning is coming across as arrogant and callous? Guilty as charged.

Funny, how the perception of a thing can mess up our witness. I never should have let what I thought stop me from being the person who I was.

Now that I know what has really been going on, I can position myself to make sure that the greetings are heard. I am ready to get back to having and receiving ‘good’ mornings.

I will be having humble pie with my coffee this morning.

Ayoka Boyce ~ Minister, Author, Blogger, Lover of Coffee

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